I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
