We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
