i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
