Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
two words...techno handjob
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
false alarm, still single
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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