Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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