My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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