Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
