Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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