Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
