This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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