I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it hurts more in the daytime
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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