This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
