Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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