i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
