what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
