come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize