He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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