She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
