Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
