I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
