i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
