We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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