Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
