The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So squirting runs in the family.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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