I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
