apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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