She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
