one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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