i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
