so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
