Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
