I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
