So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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