I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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