dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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