what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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