i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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