that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
