My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize