look no pants
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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