drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
