I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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