Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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