why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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