Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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