She's JV to your varsity
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
