You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
