yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
