dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
