Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
