so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
