you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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