so explain again why im purple
no
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
