I want to have your abortion
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
