is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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