Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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