You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
