And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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