you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
