I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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