when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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