like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
