I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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