After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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